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Thursday, June 16, 2011

February

Feb 1
I was shocked when Mummiji told me that they are unhappy with the behaviour of my parents. It’s because she did not like the clothes we bought for Smartu for our engagement. In future, she wanted us to buy things for Smartu only from Bangalore. She also asked if my parents were giving their daughter things like furniture, cots, mattresses, TV, dressing table etc. Tell me diary, how can I ask Papa for these things. They are selling off Mama’s gold and are struggling with marriage expenses. My parents are on one side and on the other my sasural. What should I do now?  I will try to keep both sides happy. Today I fasted for my Smartu.
Feb 4
I got my wedding card today. It’s beautiful, I am happy.
Feb 6
Sorry diary, I was very busy talking to Smartu as he was on leave. We spoke all day and he sent me pictures of our flat in Bangalore. The flat is beautiful and I will be the queen there. I’m excited to be going there.
Feb 8
He woke me up at 4.30 am. And we exchanged naughty messages. I felt I had already become his wife. Smartu did not call me the whole day. I was bored.
Feb 10
We have begun packing for the marriage. Almost 55 bags. We leave now for Patna.
Feb 13I love singing. I practised today. Smartu and I used to chat the whole night... naughty, romantic love talk. He cared for me a lot. We spoke until midnight. At 12’o’clock we wished each other a happy Valentine’s Day. This is our first Valentine’s Day and we are not together. I told him to come early to Patna, but he said he will come on the 24th. I told him that I will give him a kiss on the lips if he stopped smoking. He agreed, but said I should start it first (the kiss). I agreed because I love him. If he quits his bad habits why should I have any problems with kissing him?
Feb 14Today is Valentine’s Day. I was bored, as Smartu was busy. Rahul (friend) called me and proposed to me but I scolded him a lot. And I told him if he does it again, I will stop talking to him. He apologised. He was serious, but what the hell yaar. I love my Smartu a lot and cannot even listen to this kind of crap from others. These are sacred words and I only want to hear them from my Smartu. Rahul spoilt my mood today.
Feb 15Today, I spoke for a long time with Smartu. This morning he went to see his boss’s new born baby. Later, he told me that today he understood the value of a wife and baby in a man’s life. He thanked me as I am going to be his wife and give him a cute baby. I’m desperately waiting for the moment when I will give my Smartu our baby. O God, please grant my wish. Now I want to talk to my Smartu about our future.
Feb 16
Today my Smartu said, ‘I love you’. My morning became beautiful with this. I think my Smartu is a little upset and I know he will not tell me the reason. He still thinks I’m not mature enough to understand his feelings. Smartu will come on the 24th and I miss him. Eight days left to see him and I want the days to go fast.
Feb 17
Shekhar (brother) came and Papa went to meet Smartu’s parents. Papa was very upset after that as Mummiji told him about the furniture and all other household things which Papa will have to give me at the time of marriage. Papa is tense as he has very little money left.
Feb 20
Smartu woke me up today. I forget everything else when I speak to him.
Feb 21
Mummiji has been hospitalised and I’m worried. God please make her well soon. Other marriage tensions still prevail.
Feb 24
Smartu will come to Patna tomorrow and all the rituals will start.
Feb 25
There were a lot of rituals and ceremonies to perform and I did not have the time to speak to Smartu today. We had the mehandi ceremony and this time I got a good colour. I enjoyed the sangeeth.
Feb 26Smartu surprised me by coming to my house. I was happy to see him and we spent many hours together. I am excited about my wedding.
Feb 28I became Mikkuji’s dulhan yesterday. I married him yesterday. After that there was the vidayi hogayi. You know diary, for the first time Smartu held my hands. We fell asleep with him holding my hands. When I woke up I saw him beside me and I really did not believe that I was married to him. It all went like a dream.

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