A poem from 'I live for you' :)

‘I worked on my laptop..

 Wrote a little...

 Browsed the net…Didn’t feel good!

 I switched on the TV..

 Saw some news..

 Saw creepy Serials..Didn’t feel good.

 I explored my cell..

 Played angry birds..

 Listened music…Didn’t feel good.

 I found later..

 Without talking to you..

 I could not smile…Nor feel Good! Missing You.. ♥ '

A Letter to God!

Dear God,

I want to thank you for bestowing the mankind with an awe-inspiring gift of nature. Its breath taking beauty provides a great and much needed escape from the complexities of life. It keeps me calm and provides solace. The landscape is stunning and tranquil at the same time. Nature has everything that can sustain mankind like herbs which cure our diseases, fruits and vegetables that we eat, fresh air we breathe, rivers and seas provide us water which we use for various purposes, etc. The rivers and meadows are a feast to the eyes. Then we have animals to rear. Sheep gives us wool, cows provide milk, etc. Also, the woods from the trees help us build our houses for shelter. Water helps us in generating hydro-electricity. Trees give us shade and also prevent soil erosion. Mountains add to the scenic beauty and people enjoy trekking on the mountains these days. Thus, I am very thankful to You for giving us the bounties of nature that has made our life so wonderful and full of delights.

But do we really deserve such pleasures? Are we really worth it? It's very easy for people these days to say that 'Yes, I love nature. It's peaceful and has a heavenly aura.' But it’s very difficult to prove it. The same people, who say that we are the 'animal lovers', do not hesitate to eat them up at the first opportunity they get. The nature's on the verge of extinct these days and so are we. It's a sorry state that's prevailing everywhere. The future is in dark and dinghy. Hoping that the mankind will be able to see some light soon and follow it instead of going towards dark. I pray to You to save us from the dire consequences because I love this life given to me by You and I want to live some more.

Love You Loads,

Your Bubbliest Daughter,

Ila :)

The reason for my absence! :(

I really want to know what do people mean by 'True Love'? Is it killing yourself for someone? Getting mad over your 'lost love'? Crying endlessly? Running away from all the others in your life? Or just living and trying to be better and successful each day to make your 'ungrateful love' regret someday?

Well, I believed and still do, that killing or hurting yourself is no option. You can't force someone to love you. That's just not fair. Love is a natural phenomenon. You cannot make it happen overnight; it just happens out of the blue and takes time. We often tend to confuse 'infatuation' with 'love'.

It so happened to me. I was all happy and busy with my usual life; totally unaware of the coming shock! Never even in my dreams, I had thought that somebody can and will do something so serious for me. I was broken, shattered, desolated! I can not see someone hurt because of me; it pains me from within. It's like a slow poison.

It was a usual day. I was merrily chatting with friends over Whatsapp and uploading some pictures on Facebook alongside. It was already 1:00A.M., but I wasn't sleepy. Insomnia had hit me lately and I wasn't complaining. I was excited because I knew that the following day was going to be amazing; I was meeting a friend after a very long! Suddenly a message popped up on my mobile. The screen was flashing more than usual, as the room was dark. I had switched off the lights. It was a message from a nice friend of mine. I opened it. It wasn't usual. No, not because of the timing but because of the content. It was a proposal. I wasn't expecting it; at least not from him. I sent a usual situational reply - 'I never thought of you as anything beyond a friend.' He could not digest the reply. He started flooding my phone with his messages; most of them were filled with sadness while others were full of rage. I was irritated after a while. There was no one to share that moment of anxiety with me. I was blank; finding it difficult to breathe. I was even close to tears when we sent me two pictures of his 'cut hand' on which he had written in blood - 'I LOVE YOU ILA'.

 
Seeing my name in blood gave me a puking sensation. And then I could not control myself. I broke down and I cried. I wished to cancel the plan for the following day and wanted to stay home. I was unable to move. I thought of typing a message to my friend, telling him how sorry I was that I would not be able to meet him. I was halfway through the message when I realised that am giving an insignificant issue much importance. I revised the priorities of my life in my head and switched off the phone. I twisted and turned in my bed for the whole night, trying to remove the picture of my bloodshot name from my eyes. All was in vain!

I got ready the next day to meet my friend. I tried my best to smile as much as I could. Thank God the fakeness of my smile wasn't very visible. I narrated to him all the episode and showed him all the messages and the pictures. He was amazed too. I wasn't fully in my senses that day; though I tried hard. I had dreamt of that meeting for a while but it wasn't executed well. I was smiling on the outside, but only I knew how much my heart was crying.

The only thing going on in my numbed mind was that how could I say 'yes' to him when I never meant it? It would have worsened things. I only hoped and prayed for him to understand me and my situation someday and not hurt himself pointlessly. Since then, he messages daily, literally begging me for a 'yes' but I know I cannot say it without meaning it. Howsoever hard I try, I cannot love him too because I never felt that way! I stopped talking to everyone after that; took calls only when indispensable.

But last night, the same friend who met me and heard me pouring my heart out, told me to move beyond it. My friend made me realise that it wasn't my mistake; according to him I had tried my level best to make him understand but he refused to comprehend anything. And I am so grateful to this sweet friend of mine, who noticed my absence from the blog and told me to start writing again which I had temporarily left. And therefore this blog post is solely dedicated to him; because he has always been the ultimate support system for me.

P.S. My message to all the readers - 'Don't impose your love on anyone. If you love a person truly, tell them and then give them time to think and space to breath. They will come to you someday if you two are meant to be together. If not, then you will surely find someone else; may be better than them. But please, never hurt yourself or others in pursuit of love. Love is a beautiful feeling, don't spoil its meaning. Live and let live. Love and let go.'


*CHEERS*
Love & Laughter,
Ila :)
xoxo