Dealing with emotions :)

Continuing from where I left in my last post, dealing with emotions is a time-taking process. After a heart-break, one must focus on controlling the outburst as it may do more harm than good. Now, first of all you need to relax and calm yourself. You have a whole life ahead of you, and one loose brick can’t make you fall. Ponder on something else, distract yourself. Force yourself to stop being nostalgic, busy yourself in work. Join some classes, if needed. Find someone to talk to, someone who will not judge you and just listen to what you have to say.

Don’t let negative emotions take the better of you. Planning a revenge or returning the pain can never make you feel better, it will add to the guilt. Let it go, improvise yourself. Use this time to hone a skill that you’ve been wanting to. Why bother about someone else, when you can make yourself a little awesome instead? Don’t be aloof, make new friends, dress up, dance a little - life can be better if we want it to be. Smile a lot, learn to love yourself. Be a keen observer. Look around. There’s a lot of worse going on around you. You are not the only one who is facing it!

And woah! You did it. You just made yourself feel better. But yes, you can never do it all alone. Surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally. And see the miracle happen! Give yourself a pat on your success!

Relationships can go through certain turbulent times, we all know that. For happy endings, one must be ready to go through ups and downs. As discussed previously, dealing with heart-breaks and resultant emotions may require a positive outlook towards life. If you are strong-minded, you can come out of the grief sooner. The key is empowering yourself enough to not let anybody else have the power to hurt you. Be committed in the relationship but don’t forget to give space to each other. Even if all this doesn’t help to hold on the relationship tight, be prepared to let it go.

You will have better opportunities waiting at the next door. Don’t compromise with your values for the sake of relationship. True love will never put you in such a situation, trust me on this. Be confident in yourself. Don’t lie to your own self, don’t pretend to be someone you are not. I see, there have been a lot of don’t (s) here, but seriously we have some do’s too. J For one, face the situation, ignoring it will only increase the pain. Waiting for him/her to come back will worsen your situation, and won’t want that, would you?

Moving on can be a personal struggle. Don’t feel that you are alone to deal with it, though. If you will close yourself in a room and cry for hours, that will never heal your heart. Going out, meeting friends, talking to them, venting out will help release the pain in great amount. 

Dealing with the matters of love and romance!

Love and romance are two entirely different concepts. We have all experienced love, love from parents, brothers, sisters, relatives, friends, etc. To love and be loved is therefore not a new feeling. But the ability to feel the intense side of this love - the romantic love, only comes when we reach adolescence. And this kind of love is way different from the love we have been so used to since our childhood days.

Because of this new intense feeling, our life too experiences a series of change. This romantic love can be good for some, heart-breaking for others. And still, it remains an indispensable feeling. It’s a passionate feelings of attraction. Our cultural, may put taboo on it, however, that cannot cease our heart from loving or be attracted to the opposite sex. Some call it infatuation! Express it in whichever way you like, but you can’t deny it. It’s a natural tendency.

Just as you need food to survive, you need romance to grow. They say, love is after all like a food for the soul. We see this romance in front of our eyes from the very beginning (our parents, of course) and yet when we experience it in our own lives, it seems so different from what we read in novels and are made to see in movies. These new feelings can be exciting - or even confusing at first. It doesn't always have a happy ending.

The key is knowing yourself a little better which will in a way, lead you to an optimistic path and assist your romance to grow in the right direction. Believe, and you are halfway through it!

Romantic love hurts, it is not always easy to tread on a smooth path. Heartbreak can result in exquisite pain, strange distress, and what not. Physical wounds can be resolved but the wounds of heart-breaks are never seen, just felt. It takes forever at times, to get used to them.

We all hate the feeling of a heartbreak, don’t we? And yet we find ourselves compelled to go over and over the memories, ideas or fantasies which make the feeling worse. Then we look for solace in painkillers to ease out the distress. But using painkillers, anti-depressants is never a solution to this pain. It can be embarrassing and lead to an incurable mental state.

All you need to do is be strong. Some people think that to be strong is to never feel pain. In reality, the strongest people are the ones who feel it, understand it and accept it. And that is the key that you should follow. We can do it with a belief in our own capabilities. Start with telling yourself that you deserve the best. Affirmations help in a big way! Open your heart, let it love… don’t be afraid.

From confinement to freedom! :)

“In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.”

– Albert Camus

Tortured beyond imagination by my own parents, I have finally pushed through the pain to build a life of hope. As a child, at first I was taught by my mother to be comfortable and responsive to a man’s touch. I could hardly understand what she wanted me to do until one day, my parents sold me to an agency that dealt in child trafficking. That seemed like an end to my life.

Image Source: euobserver.com

For few weeks, I was provided food and clothes that looked good. But all that comfort was short lived, and then the unthinkable happened. I was dressed in skimpy clothes and my face was painted in heavy and cheap looking make up. Then, I was made to stand with few other helpless girls. A price tag was put around our necks and we were literally auctioned before the prospective clients. 

I was shuddering in utter disbelief. At that moment, a client bargained me for sex. He took me to a room and told me to strip. I refused his offer immediately. He grabbed me by the hair, forced me on the floor and raped me forcefully, taking away my virginity. I was terrorized and felt as if I had lost myself. The girl who came out of that room wasn’t me anymore. I could not recognize myself in the mirror.

After that day, it was on a regular basis that I was put in rooms with different clients and was supposed to please them, entertain them, and what not. Mentally I was lost, emotionally I had killed myself, and physically I had no choice but to lay naked in bed with some strangers. I didn’t recognize the sun or know what the grass felt like! 

Image Source: cargocollective.com

It was only after several months that I finally got my one chance to escape from that hell. Everyone seemed to be busy and I was willing to give myself one chance to revamp my life. I took a leap of faith from the back side window when no one was noticing and ran with all my might.

I decided not to go to the police station as I was terrified. After several days, I ran into a counselor who helped me regain my optimism. She took me to a doctor and I was put on medication. My road to normality has been a bumpy ride. I would have fits of rage, long nights of tears and terror, and few suicide attempts. It was only after hundreds of visit to the doctor and being in regular touch with my counselor that I finally heaved a sigh of relief.

For the first time in years, I am off medication for depression and can look up to a future. I exercise to keep my mind active, I interact with people (something that I have been frightened of) and seem to fave found a new me.

- The Girl who saw a new 'hope'

#CrumpledVoices2

Image Source: www.innocentsatrisk.org

Not wanted at my own home?

I always wondered if whatever happened with me in my life has been a nightmare all along… because emerging out of that pain makes me feel like a phoenix! For someone who is just 17 years old, I have been through a lot in my life. I take care of myself for as long as I can remember. It feels like I have been nurturing myself on my own because my family never seemed to look after me. For them, perhaps, I was always a non-existent entity.

My dad treated me bad right from when I was only a baby. I felt as if I could never reach up to his expectations; as if I was never good enough for him. Everything I did was always full of flaws. Even as a kid, I remember that he used to hit me and then challenge me to hit him. I thought he meant it and I would try to hit him back only to be beaten by him with double force. I was nothing more than a punching bag for him. He used to kick me hard if I didn’t do what I was told or did something wrong. So gradually, I learnt to go along with whatever he said, and to keep out of his way as much as I could.

Image Source: fooyoh.com

The worst thing was that my mother never told him to stop. She would instead yell at me and acted like I deserved that pain. I started to believe that everything was my fault. When I was about 13, I started drinking heavily to escape the vehement thoughts. I bunked my classes just about every day, until the school told my parents about my attendance. Seeing the opportunity, my dad bashed me up and beat the hell out of me.

I began hating school because I always ended up in trouble for having fights with other kids. The teachers also disliked me. At home, the situation was no good. I felt lonely even when my parents were in the house because they ignored me. The only occasion they acknowledged my presence was when they need to vent out their anger. I was terrified in my own house. As a result, I used to stay over at a friend’s place, and sometimes I would sleep out on a park’s bench. The more I stayed away, the more scared I was of going back home because I knew I would get scolded and beaten hard for running away. I started staying outdoors for days together. It felt better than going home.

Image Source: www.crosswalk.com

After a while I enrolled myself in an orphanage and they took me in refuge immediately on hearing my story. People here are so generous and genuinely care. I have a big family here. I play with other kids and my bruises are finally healing too. That one step of escaping the house changed my life for better. I study and do a part time work for money. I am sure that with my savings and their help, I will at last, have a future.

- The Boy who remained undeterred

#CrumpledVoices2

The Girl who found her angel :)

Looking back at my childhood days, I only shudder in immense pain. This might come as surprising but my childhood wasn't like yours. There is not even a single happy memory that I carry in my heart. I was molested by my elder brother, that too when I hardly knew what to feel. I cried and nobody seemed to hear until I decided to stop crying. It was an uncanny feeling and gradually as I grew up, I realized it was wrong but I was hapless. Nobody was there to show me a way out of the situation.

At that time, my parents were busy in their respective careers which involved late night meetings and as a result, I was left alone with my brother a lot many times. My plight didn't just end there. It was getting all the more worse. During that horrible time, I fell into bad company and was also introduced to cigarettes, drugs and alcohol. Those things helped me to escape the pain of being exploited by my own brother. I began lying to my mom regularly about my whereabouts so that I could smoke, drink and get high. I was trying in vain to lose myself in the toxic. My grades were falling rapidly and there was hardly anything that I could do about it as I wasn't even aware of myself any longer.

And just then, in a disguise of an angel, I bumped into a friend who revamped my life and returned me my smile. I still remember how he held on to me for all those months. He saw me when I was almost invisible to everyone. He counselled me and distracted me enough to give up on my bad habits and even gave me courage to fight against my brother. I suddenly felt stronger with him by my side. I was alive again and he gave a new meaning to the word 'home' because as they say 'Home is where heart is'. I am glad I could come out of that mess and discover myself all over again. Not everyone gets that chance. I wish and pray that angels like him bump into the paths of all the children who are struggling to keep their innocence intact.

Hope you all come forward from your comfort zones and let your voices be heard. Child abuse is not only visible bruises or broken bones or some deadly wounds. It is what goes inside the heart of an innocent child that matters at the end of the day. A child's emotions shape his/her future. Regardless of the type of child abuse, the result is always fatal. Pledge to not let any child suffer. Pledge to be with them when they need you. Pledge to not ignore them in the light of your ambitions. Bring a smile to their faces because happiness is never a one way road. All your kindness will come back to you. We are together in this pain and happiness!

- The Girl who found her angel

#CrumpledVoices2

Scarred for Life, Healed Forever - Book Review

Scarred for Life, Healed Forever

By Ashwati Menon

Review By Ila Garg

“Let the power begin from within!”

Scarred for Life, Healed Forever, by Ashwati Menon is published by Gargi Publishers, a fast progressing self-publishing house. The book has an apt cover, something that rightly depicts the plot. The colors and sequence is so perfectly chosen by Amol Karambe. The quality is obviously one of the best in the recent book industry. The title is well chosen and reflects the turmoil that awaits you! The book jacket is thus, appropriate and hooks the readers instantly.

The author has a degree in Masters in Computer Application and a bigger passion for writing. She has had the pleasure of writing many books in different styles and has been a part of many anthologies. Before Scarred for Life, Healed Forever, one of her short stories has been a part of Drenched Souls - Moonlit Matinee 2 (Read the review here). When she is not writing, she spends her time in either reading or strumming on her guitar.

The blurb reads as, “Nishtha survived a terrible fate but that didn’t let her live in peace. She ends up being a victim of her own powers and there is very little she can do to get a normal balanced life.

What with strange visions and a mind that seems to be always active, Nishtha finds that she is suddenly very much able to sense when someone is going to get into accidents and mishaps. And thereby, she runs to their rescue.

But how long is she going to be the super-woman she did not expect she will be?

Is there a solution to bring peace? Will science have answers to Nishtha’s problems?”

The protagonist, Nishtha Vaidya is a girl next door and a simpleton. You can’t predict her inner personality just by looking at her. She hides a tormenting past in her smile and everything about her seems normal. A perfect family, a handsome brother, great educational qualifications that lands her in a grand job - she appears to have it all.

The story begins interestingly and doesn’t let you get bored. In fact, it grabs the reader’s attention from one page to the next. The story doesn’t go straight though, it rather moves in zig-zag. The readers have to concentrate as it goes back and forth between different time zones. It’s an unusual genre with an engrossing plot. However, non-regular readers may find it difficult to comprehend and the pace might not be comfortable to them. On the other hand, regular readers will enjoy it and appreciate the writer’s efforts for traversing on a road less traveled. After all, the author has shown the ability to think out of the box!

The author has indeed taken a bold step while penning down something like this with a lot of grace. Author’s language is really fresh and the language can be a little problem but the author has given a glossary in the end for the readers to be able to understand the plot well.

The 126 page book comprises of an author’s note, 22 chapters, an epilogue, and a glossary for scientific terms and references. It manages to be a wonderful read despite the different genre. This book is definitely a page turner and a very quick read. Ashwati Menon has used the right amount of words to grip her readers. The plot and thrill element kept me glued to this book.

The downside of this book is its climax that comes in too fast and makes the narrative lose its impact. Though the theme is well chosen, the problem arises in its handling. It could have been built more comprehensively to give a sense of completeness.

‘Yay’ Factors: The out of box thinking.

‘Nay’ Factors: The poor execution and the narration that keeps lacking as we near the end.

My Verdict: To find out what keeps tormenting Nishtha, how long will she be able to keep this past bundled up and pretend as if nothing happened, how is her power of forecasting going to affect her, will she find her solace, will she get what she is looking for; you will have to read the novel, Scarred for Life, Healed Forever.

Ratings: 3/5

Buying Links: Infibeam | Amazon | Flipkart

To be or not to be!

Image Source: quoteimg.com

And yet again, you made me go blank.

And yet again, I am left to wonder...

To be or not to be (in love),

Is the question still unanswered...

Why it is that happiness is always short-lived? Life is complicated and tends to be unfair at times. One moment, it makes you so happy that you almost feel like flying in the air and in the very next moment, it hits you so bad that you don’t even have strength to wipe off your own tears and heal your wounds!

I wondered why on Earth I ever fell for him. I almost regretted it when things went bad. Numb, wordless, emotionless, forlorn, weird, suffocated – Not even a single word could define my condition! Moving on demanded a lot of courage, more than I had thought. Isn’t it amazing how stupid you can be when you’re in love? You literally become blind for a while. 

Life was being more than unfair to me now. Was it testing me? Oh yeah it was testing me, trying to weaken me. But I have always been strong and I was determined not to give up so soon. I was a fighter, a survivor.

My friends always managed to bring out something new in me though. At that moment, I realized I don't really need him, all I need was to reunite with my dear friends and delve into the power of togetherness and find a new path to optimism!

When someone brings more problems in your life than happiness, it’s time to show them the door where they can exit! My friends motivated me to realize this and distracted me enough to come out of that temporary sorrow in no time. Just a hug from them, and everything seemed to straighten up on its own. Things started looking up for me the moment I decided to take charge of my life. In that moment, I was not alone, I had positive energy surrounding me all the time, shielding me from all pain that the outside world had to offer me! 

So I finally started moving ahead in my life leaving all the flashbacks away from my mind and soul. I knew that things were going to be fine soon. It was time for me to come out of the depressing atmosphere and prepare myself for a new day, a new beginning. I promised myself that I am not going to be bitter, but I will get better by each passing day.

I was able to smile and move ahead like never before! When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can either let it define you, destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.

So, once in a while, let’s surround ourselves with the people we love. Invite friends we haven’t seen lately, and see the love reviving in no time... Let's start a new Infinity to help us conquer the sadness and delve in a happy aura. Let's Look Up and bring optimism to the world.

Image Source: quoteimg.com

Bad Romance - Book Review

Bad Romance

By Harshita Srivastava

Review By Ila Garg

Bad Romance, is a special book for a number of reasons, one of them being the authoress is a good friend of mine. Published by Gargi Publishers, a fast progressing self-publishing house, the book has an amazing cover. The colors and sequence is so perfectly chosen by Amol Karambe. It’s a big turn on and you know that yes this is a good book without even flipping the pages. The quality is obviously one of the best in the recent book industry. The title is well chosen and reflects the turmoil that awaits you! 

A full-time writer, Harshita Srivastava is known for her debut novel ‘One in a Million’ published by Mahaveer Publishers in April 2013. Read the complete review here. In addition to her various achievements, Harshita is an avid reader and a prolific blogger. She loves reading classics and is a die-hard Mills and Boons fan. Apart from writing, she loves travelling, reading, listening to music and spending time with friends and family. At present, she resides in Gurgaon and works as a Content Writer with a leading e-commerce group. Bad Romance is her second book.

The blurb reads as, “Life is a bitch and I’m one of its victims. I had the perfect life. I was blessed with the perfect boyfriend, a perfect best friend, the perfect set of girlfriends and perfect choice of career. There were some loopholes but then they went beyond my perspective. Overall, I had the kind of life people would ideally like to have but happy times aren’t meant to last forever.

Sometimes we feel that we have figured life but that’s something that is never going to happen. You know why? It’s because it has this habit of kicking us right in the middle of ecstasy. No wonder, it did the same with me.

This is my story, my story of that exploration within, my feelings, my emotions, my thought process, my priorities, my conflicts and my journey into the temptation of love, lust, lies and betrayals. This is the story of Kritika and a man who gave her life another dimension, Tanishq. This is a story of the complexities of relationships and the trap that a simple idea of sensuality, pleasure and euphoria can put you into. This is a story for everyone who has loved, lost and fought for survival and love, together.”

With an apt tagline ‘Love, Lies, and Betrayal’ the novel moves at a comfortable pace and narrates the plight of a young girl, Kritika who moves to Greater Noida with dreams of becoming an RJ and to pursue her engineering. The story has a good grip and justifies the tagline perfectly. Harshita has used a very harsh narrative to convey the story of her protagonist’s life at the hostel. Her friends and the betrayal she suffers in her love life add to the spice.

‘Bad Romance’ is a quest for true love and like her debut novel, the plot of this book remains the strongest point. The characterization of Kritika and Tanishq and the realistic descriptions score the brownie points here. Harshita is an experienced author and may be this came to her aid when she penned down this beautiful but tragic story. It well exposes the gory details of a relationship in this fast paced ignorant world.

The only thing that irked me throughout was so many errors in the script. The name goof ups and paragraph repetitions were a big put off or perhaps I had high expectations after reading the debut book. Anyway, if readers just focus on the story and are ready to be oblivious of these mistakes here and there, they will definitely enjoy this one.

The 159 page book takes you along with it and makes you vividly see all the events taking place in front of you. The story is quite touching and the main reason that I loved this book is the sheer realism with which Harshita makes her way into the readers’ heart.

The book has some more drawbacks as it gets predictable towards the end. However, Harshita doesn’t let her readers down as there’s never a dull moment while you are reading this book. Every word arouses your interest in the story and you become one with the protagonist as you keep turning the pages.

‘Yay’ Factors: The plot, the realism, the characters.

‘Nay’ Factors: The minute errors as mentioned above.

This is a very quick read, probably 2-3 hours would be enough to read it. Perfect during travelling or late nights! I recommend this book to all those who have suffered betrayals in love or have lost hopes in the face of lies. Harshita has once again proved her mettle. The way she has captured all the intricate emotions of a dejected heart, kept me glued to this book till the end and reminded me of the similar style in her debut book.

Ratings: 3.25/5

Buying Links: Infibeam | Amazon | Flipkart 

This life is to be lived alone...

Searching in my delusional world,

In enormous atrocities I'm curled.

Yet vainly I look for it,

I hope to get it before I quit.

Deep inside I know what it means to me,

Yet I question; to be or not to be.

The answer part is not easy,

Engulfing me in a deep frenzy.

I know the key lies within,

To be in love is not a sin.

And yet I want to stop now,

As my heart doesn't allow.

It wants to remain a stone,

This life is to be lived alone.

I have seen  its good side,

But the bad images play in my mind.

It has made me smile, laugh, and dance too,

However, it has also left me with no clue.

I acknowledge that it has given me a lot, but oh,

It's the pain that it has given me in plenty though.

I remember being with my knight in shining armour;

in those arms that are my safe harbour.

And yet my heart refuses to mellow down,

I guess the reasons is the frown.

How can it hurt the one it loves?

So it moves on and shoves.

The one I was looking for remains unknown,

And this life is to be lived alone...

Dark Colors

DARK COLORS 

When in life you badly fail

And you are no longer capable to sail

You feel lonely

There is sadness only

And you run as you cry

You can no longer try

All your laughter is gone

You curse the day you were born

All your dreams are shattered

The pain no longer mattered

You are tired of fighting

And you want to go in a hiding

The failure grips you

The weakness catches you

No one to share your feelings with

No one to sit with

No one can understand you

You feel that the whole world is cursing you

All the happiness has been squeezed out

You want to just shout and shout

All your spirits dampen

Sometimes it just happens

It’s like a silent blast

It gives a familiar ache that lasts

You let your emotions flow

But you don’t want to show

Your life turns black and white

And there is no light

You feel it is the end of the world

You want to get curled

But no sympathizing arms are around

No humble and relaxing sound

You want to moan

You want to be left alone

You don’t know what to do

You just keep on feeling blue

Such sad moments leave a mark

That makes your world look so dark

These dark colors win your soul

You even forget your goal

Everyone just blames you

And they hate you

But one thing they don’t know

In life, it is important to fail too…

-      Ila garg