Finally a 'Goodbye' !

I never intended to fall in love, but somehow I did. An year down the line, I just could not imagine where am I headed towards! But now that I realise that its love; a forbidden love, I choose to take my steps back. Back, not because suddenly am afraid of the purest feeling, but because he has refused to listen to his heart. While am all armed to go against the world and to face all the dire consequences to have him with me. All through the phase of falling in love with him, I was aware that he will end up hurting me, and then may be I will do the same. I will hurt him with much more intensity. I will leave him perplexed, in utter mess. Love, as I know is meant for happiness. But this love almost killed me. The 'real me' died in the process of loving him, caring for him, and making him realise that the feelings are mutual. Now, its the 'virtual me' that is tired of pleading with him all day and night. They say that 'the most special love is the most difficult one'. And our love, well its beyond words, its real. Yet it tears me apart every time I look at him or wait endlessly for a loving message from his side. I never (even in my worse dreams) had thought that of all people, he will be the reason for my endless tears. Anyway, I guess, I gave him much power to hurt me, ruin me, make me weak, and kill me. Enough of it has happened so far. So, I will pause here and take an about turn. And I promise not to leave without saying a 'goodbye'. Its really hard to bid adieu to someone who means so much to you. I am sure this pain will cease after sometime, but if I continue to fake a smile in front of him while I am dying inside then this pain will be with me for a lifelong. I love myself way too much so I can't expose myself to more pain. I have suffered a lot and I am not blaming anyone for that. May be its all a one-sided thing. May be he never felt that we could be anything more than best friends. But today I told him that I can no longer be his best friend and I wished him all the happiness of the world. How can I be best friends with someone I am in love with? Hope he understands and moves on. I am doing the same and I have no regrets. I am borne to be strong. I know that I will fix my heart again with tape and glue. Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing that you can't have. And so am letting my most precious thing go. I believe its for the best, and therefore finally gathering all the courage, I said the final words, "Am sorry, I can no longer be your best friend. Wish you all the happiness of the world. Here's a song especially dedicated to you -

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Goodbye!"