Saturday, June 6, 2015

Welcome to the Gemini Space!

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You say I'm "complicated", I say I'm "unpredictable, but in a fun way"!


1. Having people think you're two-faced because that's the one astrology thing everyone knows about Geminis. Just because your sign is represented by a photo of twins doesn't mean you're literally two different people; it just means you have a few different sides, like, oh, I don't know, all people.
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2. Having to explain to people that "Oh, the fact that I'm being sarcastic with you actually means that I like you a lot." And not understanding how that's not clear. What were you supposed to do to show someone you like them? Just be pleasant all the time? Yeah, OK.
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3. When you realize you were flirting with someone without even realizing it because you truly just like talking to people. Geminis get a bad rap for flirting with everyone but you legitimately just like talking to people all the time. Plus, there's no way you could possibly be truly into every single person you talk to. Whose heart has that much space?
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4. Not knowing how to tell someone you need them to leave you alone for a few days/possibly forever. If your friends or crush don't go away for a legitimate period of time, how are you ever going to have time to miss them and then text them incessantly because they went away like you asked them to?
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5. Having a new idea that is perfect, definitely perfect... until the next idea you have five seconds later.
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6. Being totally turned on by how crazy-smart someone is even though they look like a squirrel had a baby with a snail. Whatever, man. His brain is full of hot thoughts and knowledge about all the things. You're into it.
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7. Being an emotional roller-coaster is a full-time, 365-days-a-year thing. Being a Gemini is like having period hormones every second of the day. It's a wild ride and requires consistent chocolate consumption.
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8. You are like a mountain of concrete wrapped around a golden heart full of feelings. Sure, trying to get close to you is like climbing the Mount Everest of people, but when they get to the top of knowing you, you can take unlimited selfies. Did that comparison work? Oh well, it's still true.
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9. Give us a cheesy line and we will give you the most intense "fuck off" look you've ever seen in your life. It will literally move you into another room by force alone. It's basically a superhero move.
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10. Having everyone be terrified of you because you are bold and fearless and intense. But what they don't know is you're also the sweetest puppy in the whole store; it's just that you're covered in a collar with a lot of spikes on it but that is for protection and also style!
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11. You can't walk five blocks without learning the back-stories of every single person you just walked by. Hanging out with you is basically watching you walk around town pointing to every stranger on the street and saying, "So that guy works in sales but he wants to be a baker part time and she works as a marketing executive who loves The Bachelor more than anyone I've ever met."
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12. Having to tell people that the only reason your room is messy is because you pick stuff up and intend to put it away somewhere but then give up on that and never put it away ever because you just thought about how you should probably book a ski trip soon.
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13. More than any other sign, you can totally be bought. If someone buys you an impressive amount of leather goods, you will fairly easily forget that they almost ran over your cat on your birthday because you love getting a lot of things.
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14. Partying is a class you majored in, got straight as in, and now you teach it on the regular. No one goes out without asking you what The Plan is because you definitely do have a plan and there are blueprints drawn up for that plan and it involves a series of props, costumes, and accessories that you have to order in advance.
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15. The fact that you have so many sides means you're impossible for people not to like. There's something for everyone here, like a combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell in the form of a person. Who doesn't want to chill with that?
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2 comments:

  1. I loved this article as I am a Gemini. Could totally relate to each and every point :)

    ReplyDelete

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